Battle Royale: French Monarchs

Vercingetorix (Patreon Teaser)

January 16, 2023 Ben Clarke and Eliza Sommers
Battle Royale: French Monarchs
Vercingetorix (Patreon Teaser)
Show Notes

Eliza is under the weather, but we didn't want to leave you guys without an episode! So we're taking a break from the 13th Century and going back into the 1st... BC. This is a special release of our Patreon episode about Vercingetorix, King of the Gauls, who unified his people and fought to the bitter end against the conquest of Julius Caesar.

Join our Angry Mob at the Economy+ tier at, to access all our other Patreon episodes, including:
- Ranking the Noble Houses of France (c.1000CE)
- Ratatouille (film review)
- Vercingetorix (full episode)
- Robert Guiscard
- Vikings (2015) - The Siege of Paris
- Carcassonne, Cathars and Crusaders
- Margaret the Black, Countess of Flanders

To get the latest updates on the podcast (including Eliza's recovery!), find us on:

Support the show



Ben and Eliza each give a score out of 10 for the first 4 categories. The 5th is determined by maths! The result is a total score out of 100.

  1. Enchanté: The shallow, first-impressions round: How fabulous and iconic an image have they passed down to us?
  2. En Garde: (A.K.A. “Selfish Wins”) How well did they gain and increase their personal power, either through scheming, statesmanship or good old fashion battles?
  3. Voulez-Vous: (A.K.A. “Selfless Wins”) How much would we want to live under their regime? How well did they better the world around them through law reforms and cultural projects?
  4. Ouh-Là-Là: How pearl-clutchingly scandalous were the events of their life, both in their time and down through the ages? How mad, bad and dangerous were they to know?
  5. La Vie en Throne: How many years did they reign, and how many of their children survived them?

For more details on the scores, how they are calculated and how our kings are ranking, visit our website.