Battle Royale: French Monarchs

Passing judgement on all the Kings and Emperors of France from Clovis to Napoleon III. Each episode, Ben recounts the story of a monarch to Eliza, then together they decide on how to score them in 5 categories. But who will they select as the crème de la crème, and who will they send to the Guillotine? Proudly inspired by the Rex Factor podcast.

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Battle Royale: French Monarchs

56 - Charles IX

July 07, 2024 • Ben Clarke and Eliza Sommers • Season 1 • Episode 56

There will be blood.

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A summary of the major political figures in this episode (most of whom will be dead by the end):

Catherine de' Medici, ruling on behalf of her son Charles IX, a moderating force between the factions (at first)

The Ultra-Catholics:

Duke Henry of Anjou, Charles IX's precocious younger brother
The Duke and Cardinal de Guise, recently kicked out of power
Anne de Montmorency, Constable of France, an elderly veteran

The Huguenot Protestants and their sympathisers:

Antoine de Bourbon, an idiot, first Prince of the Blood and a moderate Catholic
Jeanne III, Queen of Navarre, his wife, a radical Protestant, with whom he has a son Henry of Navarre
Louis, Prince of Condé, his ambitious brother, also a Protestant
Gaspard de Coligny, Admiral of France, a charismatic Protestant general, nephew of Montmorency

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Our "Wars of Religion" theme is taken from a recording of the Huguenot "Psalm 24". The full track is available on Youtube. As we were unable to find the original source for this music, please let us know if you have any information so that we can properly credit the artist.

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Battle Royale's intro/outro music is "Dansez" by Fasion. Thank you to them for making this track free to use and listen! Go check out more of their stuff here.

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CATEGORIES

Ben and Eliza each give a score out of 10 for the first 4 categories. The 5th is determined by maths! The result is a total score out of 100.

Enchanté: The shallow, first-impressions round: How fabulous and iconic an image have they passed down to us?
En Garde: (A.K.A. “Selfish Wins”) How well did they gain and increase their personal power, either through scheming, statesmanship or good old fashion battles?
Voulez-Vous: (A.K.A. “Selfless Wins”) How much would we want to live under their regime? How well did they better the world around them through law reforms and cultural projects?
Ouh-Là-Là: How pearl-clutchingly scandalous were the events of their life, both in their time and down through the ages? How mad, bad and dangerous were they to know?
La Vie en Throne: How many years did they reign, and how many of their children survived them?

For more details on the scores, how they are calculated and how our kings are ranking, visit our website.