Battle Royale: French Monarchs

Passing judgement on all the Kings and Emperors of France from Clovis to Napoleon III. Each episode, Ben recounts the story of a monarch to Eliza, then together they decide on how to score them in 5 categories. But who will they select as the crème de la crème, and who will they send to the Guillotine? Proudly inspired by the Rex Factor podcast.

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Battle Royale: French Monarchs

59 - Louis XIII

February 03, 2025 • Ben Clarke and Eliza Sommers • Season 1 • Episode 59

The Louis XIII of Alexandre Dumas's "The Three Musketeers" is a comically naïve and easily manipulated do-nothing king, dominated by his scheming chief minister Cardinal Richelieu. But as we're about to learn, the history is a little more complicated when you consider that Louis did have military victories, he struggled against debilitating chronic illness, and France owes a lot more than expected to his partnership with the cardinal.

But is this enough to spare Louis XIII from the guillotine?

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Battle Royale's intro/outro music is "Dansez" by Fasion. Thank you to them for making this track free to use and listen! Go check out more of their stuff here.

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CATEGORIES

Ben and Eliza each give a score out of 10 for the first 4 categories. The 5th is determined by maths! The result is a total score out of 100.

Enchanté: The shallow, first-impressions round: How fabulous and iconic an image have they passed down to us?
En Garde: (A.K.A. “Selfish Wins”) How well did they gain and increase their personal power, either through scheming, statesmanship or good old fashion battles?
Voulez-Vous: (A.K.A. “Selfless Wins”) How much would we want to live under their regime? How well did they better the world around them through law reforms and cultural projects?
Ouh-Là-Là: How pearl-clutchingly scandalous were the events of their life, both in their time and down through the ages? How mad, bad and dangerous were they to know?
La Vie en Throne: How many years did they reign, and how many of their children survived them?

For more details on the scores, how they are calculated and how our kings are ranking, visit our website.